One of our goals for this year was to reclaim some family time while in Costa Rica.  As of today we have been here for one month and almost 10% of our trip is now in the rearview mirror.  We have lots left that we’d like to accomplish but without real intentionality, plans and dreams tend to drop by the wayside and are long forgotten.  Sometimes a visual reminder can be helpful.

Pictured is a vase with 51 stones that sits on our dining room table – it represents the number of weeks we have left in Costa Rica before we return to Atlanta. Each week as a family we pull out one stone and throw it away.  This gives us a chance to discuss the things we still hope to accomplish while we are here and use the stones as a visual reminder of how little time we have left in this place.

This illustration wasn’t my idea (I heard a similar example on a John Maxwell podcast and have seen it elsewhere since). In the same podcast, Dr. Maxwell said a great and thought-provoking expression – “Spending your time isn’t just a metaphor.”  This expression can be brought to light in many different ways.  E.g.,

• Based on actuarial tables and my personal health I have 43 years left to live (www.deathclock.com – a bit morbid I know but perspective setting nonetheless). We have ~12 months left in Costa Rica and therefore almost 2½% of my remaining life will be spent here. At the end of the day, how I spend my time here matters, as it is a meaningful percent of my remaining time on earth.

• My wife and I theoretically have 317 Saturdays with our oldest daughter Hailey before she leaves for college (theoretical because I know teenage years will deplete the actual number of Saturdays we get with her).  In years past the extra hours I worked at night and on weekends over the course of a year or two probably exceeded the amount of time in my daughter’s remaining Saturdays at home.  It’s so easy to convince one’s self the extra hours at work are so critical, but six years from now where will I be happier to have invested my time?

• Or to paraphrase the example from Dr. Maxwell’s podcast, if someone my age decides to really kill themselves at work for the next five years in order to afford a second home, that equates to ~12.5% of their remaining life. A true cost indeed.

Steve Farrar wrote a phenomenal book called “Point Man” that has one of my favorite quotes regarding family/relationships/parenting, “Quality time comes at the most unusual moments.  You never know when it will happen.  It usually makes an appearance someplace in the realm of quantity time.”  While we have always tried to be intentional about family time, we now have a unique chance to take advantage of some serious “quantity time” and to fill it with meaningful experiences that we can discuss and laugh about together for many, many years.  If we are really successful leveraging our time in Costa Rica, our meaningful experiences will accrue commensurate with the depleting of the stones and we won’t find ourselves one day staring at the empty jar wondering where the time went.

• Is the return on how you are currently spending your time worth the investment?
• Could added focus/intentionality make a difference in the quality and quantity of stories you’ll be able to tell one day?
• Where and how might a visual reminder prove meaningful for you?