Costa Rica, Family, Journaling

“I’ll talk about this at her rehearsal dinner” … with some help from my journal

JournalFor the last several days I’ve been telling myself I really need to journal all of the things that have been happening in our lives.  It’s so easy for me to let “life” take over and ignore the urge to write things down, but each time I read my journal I am so thankful the younger me took the time.

Why I started journaling:  I began journaling in 2008 although I had considered doing so well before then and on many different occasions.  Two occurrences convinced me it was finally time. First, I utterly forgot something I was sure I would never forget, that I had boldly claimed “I’ll talk about this at her rehearsal dinner”.  And yet I forgot until I was reminded years later when the critical details had faded.  God knows what needless information had taken the place of this precious memory over the years.  Second, I saw the real value a mentor and friend of mine (Corey Baker) got from his journal.

What I journal:  I suspect a journal is as individual of a thing as one’s own thoughts.  For me, I write down inspiring or funny quotes I want to remember, thoughts about each member of my family, fun experiences, personal goals, scripture I’m contemplating, etc.  Lately I’ve been using a Journal App (myMemoir) but I’m not convinced I won’t go back to a hand-written journal.

How I benefit from journaling:  I frequently read my journal and I’m reminded of sights, sounds, emotions, etc. that I know would have faded from memory if not for my journal. Doing so helps me refocus intentionality on the most important things in my life.  For example, many years ago I completed an exercise called Tribute Statements (also at the advice of my friend Corey Baker) – below is an excerpt from that exercise that I journaled regarding what I would hope to hear my four girls say at my 80th birthday party.  This is one of my most personal and important journal entries.

  • “My dad never gave up on me when I strayed or fell or didn’t believe in myself.”
  • “My dad always encouraged me and emphasized my positives.”
  • “My dad showed me and told me every day how much he loved me.”
  • “My dad cherished my mom every single day.”
  • “My dad was the spiritual leader of our family.”
  • “My dad set the bar high for the type of man I married and raised a family with.”
  • “My dad always stood up for the innocent and weak.”

I ended the above list with the entry “I need to make sure my thoughts, expressions, words and actions are always aligned with accomplishing the above outcome.”   Or to quote Stephen Covey, “Begin with the End in Mind.”  I’ll confess it’s hard for me not to get a bit emotional when reading and thinking about this list, however, every time I do so I give myself a mental score on how I’m doing and think of ways to be a better father.

Reflections on what I have written over the last five years helped drive our decision to spend a year in Costa Rica and how we will utilize our time.  I suspect events and feelings that lead to journal entries over the course of the next year will help influence where I land next professionally and also have great impact on my personal life.

I encourage you to pick up a pen (or a keyboard) and start journaling about those things most important to you … that you are just sure you will never forget.

5 thoughts on ““I’ll talk about this at her rehearsal dinner” … with some help from my journal

  1. Sloane's avatar Sloane

    Hey Dave. What you and your family are doing is so inspiring. I am enjoying the pictures of your beautiful family and reading your blogs to Greg. I am so glad you wrote about writing in a journal because I told myself to write about the events and feelings that i felt after the death of my dad 3 months ago. I started journaling, but “life” took over and I found myself not finding the time to do so. Now, I am forgetting so many important things that I wish I had written down. You have reminded me to stop what I am doing and “remember” my thoughts through pen and paper. Thank you.

  2. Tameka Brown's avatar Tameka Brown

    Hi Dave,

    I am immensely enjoying your blog! I have been very inspired by your writing and also how you have opened your heart to the world about fatherhood, spirituality, and love and respect for all people. Thank you so much for this. I am praying for your family and hope all is well in Costa Rica!

  3. Beth's avatar Beth

    Hi David!
    Great blog and it looks and sounds as if this is going to be an unbelievable experience for all! Thanks for letting us experience it with you. Miss you guys, Aunt Beth

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