Costa Rica, Family, Fatherhood, Leadership, Parenting, Simplicity

Our personal experiment in “simplicity”

November 30, 2013 David McNeill 7 Comments

We have spent the last six months on a personal experiment in “simplicity.” For us this meant “simplicity” from our accumulated stuff, consumerism (i.e., buying more stuff) and our typically busy schedules. Not trying to suggest we led a monk’s existence while we were here in Costa Rica – we took some awesome beach trips and visited many parts of the country, but below are the intentional things we did as a family in pursuit of “simplicity”.

We moved here with two duffle bags per person, each weighing <40 lbs. Each person’s bags included their clothes, electronics, books, personal items, etc. This was to last each of us six months and needless to say, we left a ton of stuff at home. And each of us has not only realized we don’t miss most of what we left behind, we can’t remember most of it.
We decided to drastically minimize new purchases that were even close to a “want” vs. a “need.” We ended up repairing (e.g., shoes and pants) vs. replacing in many cases. Our daughters were aware of this decision, and amazingly were able to all but eliminate “I want …” from their vocabulary during our time here.
We rented a relatively small furnished home. I’ve spent less than five minutes fixing anything in this house since we arrived six months ago. With relatively limited cabinet/fridge/freezer space, we simply don’t have the room to buy lots of food and therefore have thrown away almost no spoiled food. At home in the US, we have so much more cabinet/fridge/freezer space than we really need and we always seem to fill it up.
Our girls’ sporting activities were limited to those at school, and when the bus dropped them off they were home for the night. In contrast, my wife and I are basically chauffeurs for our girls and their activities every weeknight in the US. Here, we have eaten dinner together as a family almost every night.
My wife and I shared one car. This has been tough, although it is still a pretty blessed position by world standards where the overwhelming majority of people do not have even one car. Regardless, there were things we simply said “no” to as one or the other had the car, we walked to the grocery store if need be, and in general, we just made it work.
Perhaps most important, we’ve had meaningful conversations with our girls throughout the last six months about simplicity and the options it affords you in life.

Without real intentionality, planning and family communication, I don’t think these things would have happened. For us, temporarily moving abroad enhanced our ability to make this experiment a go as we started with a “clean slate.” [For some awesome and inspiring examples of proactively living “simplicity” in everyday life, I highly suggest reading “More or Less” by Jeff Shinabarger.]

There is an inertia effect in our lives that seems to demand more “stuff” and more commitments and it is so hard to overcome. I am hopeful that having “lived” the lessons in this experiment that we will be able to remember them when inertia once again begins to take hold at some point in the future. And it’s my hope there are other aspects of simplicity we can bake into our DNA. As Richard Foster describes so eloquently in his book “Celebration of Discipline” – “If what we have, we (1) view as a gift vs. earned by our own merit, (2) it is to be cared for by God – I.e., we don’t get all hung up or anxious over losing it, and (3) it is available to others – then we will possess freedom from anxiety.” And not be owned by our “stuff.” That would be a pretty great place to be.

I believe our “simplicity” exercise will have a meaningful long-term effect on my family. Not every day necessarily, but hopefully at some point when it really counts.

How are you simplifying your life?

Government spending, Leadership, Mass shootings, Obamacare

Some things that curb my excitement to return to the US

November 21, 2013 David McNeill 1 Comment

images One huge benefit of temporarily living outside of the US is the chance to temporarily forget. That is, the chance to forget, or at least minimize, complex and polarizing problems that exist today in the US. While not necessarily wholly unique to the US, these are the issues I most dread being confronted with in the daily news upon our return.

(1) Mass shootings. (2) The Affordable Care Act/Obamacare. (3) Federal government spending. (4) Miley Cyrus’ tongue. Before someone tunes out thinking this is a political rant based on items 2 & 3 – It’s not, as on both those points it’s a leadership rant – and there is equal blame on both sides of the political aisle.

(1) US Mass shootings. Unfortunately, these “isolated incidents” as mass shootings are called no longer seem that “isolated” but rather have become a part of the US DNA, as a society we are becoming desensitized to this horror and our elected officials have demonstrated no competency at reversing the mass-shooting trend.

With way too much regularity, there is news of another mass shooting. Years ago, it was big news to report a murder on the evening news. Today, unless the victim or assailant is personally known, most people don’t even bat an eye at the reporting of a murder. With the frequency we now experience mass shootings, how long until we only give a passing glance to the latest reported incident when we are not directly personally affected.

We can’t even seem to agree on the number of mass shootings. CBS evening news recently reported 85 dead in 11 mass shootings so far in 2013. According to a recent USA Today article, 121 people have died in 26 mass shootings this year. Per Reddit/Gunsarecool there have been 316 mass shootings in the US so far this year (Reddit defines a mass shooting as > 4 people shot, not necessarily killed, hence the greater number of shootings).

Our government response too often rings hollow. The repeating pattern seems to be (a) mass shooting occurs, (b) our leaders emotionally state “we have to fix this”, (c) nothing is fixed or changed, repeat pattern a, b, c, a, b, c …

(2) Affordable Care Act/Obamacare. I doubt the real increased costs or potential savings will be known until it’s fully implemented, but it is clear that confusion reigns. To help clear the confusion both political sides state their case with amazingly precise and often incorrectly applied statistics. And at the end of the day, I am simply worried that thirty years from now both federal and state budgets will be choked with yet another government program whose impact was not correctly estimated or planned for when implemented.

I find it amusing that people on either side of the issue state with certainty the additional expense or savings per family as a result of this program. I’ve seen personal friends post how much more expensive their new insurance will be based on their new cost estimate. I’ve seen news reports of how much certain people will save. Regardless, we are currently saddled with a system that cannot seem to correctly apply government credits in either direction, so it’s currently unclear who is really saving or spending more and to what extremes. And like any forecast or estimate, it is wrong by default, the only question is how far off?

Both sides liberally misapply statistics in their arguments. Republicans have called it the biggest entitlement ever and base their math off of a comparison to the initial projections (instead of the actual costs) of other programs like social security and Medicaid. Democrats base their savings estimates against decreases from forecast spending (instead of against current spend levels). Both methods of comparison play with the truth, rather than strive to achieve it.

Perhaps it’s the history of other large federal government programs (under Democrats and Republicans) that make me the most nervous about Obamacare. For example, long-term program costs have been woefully underestimated on many other federal government programs. The actual cost of Medicare and Medicaid since inception are staggering multiples higher than initial government forecasts. Is there a bit of evidence to suggest this program will be any different? Additionally, few ever point to the federal government as the model of efficiency. Personally, I hate inefficiency in my work, in my personal life and also in tax-spent endeavors. How many millions of your tax dollars were recently spent to design the exchanges that don’t work properly? How many more millions are now being spent to fix the exchanges? But should anyone really be surprised that a federal government program is inefficient?

(3) Federal government spending. The train wreck is so easy to see in other aspects of life. Imagine a family that makes $50K per year but spends $72K per year, already owes $347K and wants to borrow more. Would you loan them more money? Would you listen to the husband or wife who said they were being “responsible” by increasing the amount they borrow each year? These are obviously rhetorical questions. How about a company that operated this way? The CEO would eventually be fired and the company would be delisted. Unfortunately, those example numbers are reflective of our 2012 government economics, but on a much larger level.

In 1993, our debt ceiling was ~$5 trillion. In 2003 it was ~$8 trillion. Today it is ~$17 trillion. When the latest debt-ceiling raise was put into effect the government cheered and the stock market rallied. My first thought was who would be dumb enough to loan our country more money. I’ve heard the argument that as a percent of GDP, our debt level has actually stabilized, so even though it is rising in absolute terms there is no need for concern. This reminds me of the person we’ve all seen recently on the evening news – someone understandably upset at having their home taken away because the bank put them in a loan they could have never rationally expected to pay. I can see the same general dialogue with someone on the news in the future stating disbelief that our government has done “this” to us as we were told borrowing more was the “responsible” thing to do.

I am not smart enough to understand all the complexities of the national economy. However, it is crystal clear that a family, a small company or a large company (many of which are larger than many countries) cannot operate this way long-term and to some degree, this must be true for our country. One on one, I suspect most Democrat and Republican elected officials would at least partially share this concern but collectively they are unable to do anything about it, which is a shame. And a huge failure of leadership.

(4) Miley Cyrus’ tongue. The item itself defines the issue. I have nothing else to offer.

Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Learning Spanish, Start-up Failures, Start-ups

Start-up failures I’ve witnessed

August 15, 2013 David McNeill 3 Comments

It’s no secret that most start-ups fail and become painful financial lessons. I recently wrote about the themes of my past successful ventures (Got some start-up ideas in mind?). On the opposite side of the equation, I’ve seen some common themes in start-up failures where I’ve had a front row seat as a witness.

Lots of people continue to pursue start-ups. According to CNN Money, 340 of every 100,000 adults launch a business each month, creating 565,000 start-ups monthly. Incidentally, immigrants (particularly Latinos) at 560/100,000 people, are almost twice as likely as Americans born in the US to launch their own business. Learning Spanish is becoming increasingly important (Why we moved to Costa Rica for a year).

While the aggregate statistics are interesting, my perspective below is based on a much smaller world of friends and acquaintances that have started a business. Typically, this involves making the jump from W2-earning corporate life and partnering with one or more people to pursue a start-up. In no particular order, here are the most common drivers of failure I’ve observed:

Legal steps, such as detailed operating agreements are overlooked or delayed. When I hear someone tell me “it’s not a problem, we are good friends and we’ll get all the legal stuff done later on” or something of that nature, it feels like one of the few times in my life when I can really predict the future. Spend the time and the money on professional advice, as it will protect the business and the friendship.

The business is based on a personal passion with no real understanding of the economic engine or the practical implications of running the business. Not to be confused with passion plus capability plus a good business model, which is a great combination.

The focus is on a remote probability business (albeit with a potentially large payoff). When the overwhelming majority of your success is out of your control that is a hard business. When you are trying to create demand vs. fill demand that is a hard business.

The cash flow is not managed or even worse, not really understood. To say “cash is king” is a “master of the obvious” type statement, but it’s amazing how many people get into a business and don’t understand it, or for that matter, the differences between gross and net sales, gross and variable and net margins, etc. If you (or your partners) don’t understand these concepts from some level of experiential knowledge, be careful throwing money into a start-up.

The exit options (I.e., beyond annual salary and/or distributions, how do you monetize this thing at some point via a sale or public offering) are not considered at the outset or actively managed along the lifespan of the business. When you are simply ready for a new challenge, or there is a business downturn or a bump elsewhere in your personal life, if you haven’t already determined how to exit, it won’t happen. As coach John Wooden said, “When opportunity (or presumably tragedy) comes, it’s too late to prepare.”

What are the most common (and possibly avoidable) reasons for start-up failures you’ve observed first-hand or experienced first-hand?

What might be just as sad as a start-up failure is a great start-up idea that simply dies a dream. Most of the conversations I’ve had with friends and acquaintances regarding potential start-ups land in this scenario. More thoughts on the reasons for this in a later entry.

Faith, Journaling, Leadership, Parenting, Quotes

Are You Not Inspired?…

August 4, 2013 David McNeill 5 Comments

Everyone loves meaningful and/or inspiring quotes. People hang great quote signs on their walls or post them on Facebook. I tend to write quotes that really grab me in my journal and reference them often in work situations, small groups, personal interactions, etc.

If you Google “great quotes” you’ll get 722M results. The same action with “inspiring quotes” and “leadership quotes” yields 47M and 70M, respectively.

I looked back through hundreds of quotes in my journal to find those most meaningful to me. I tried to narrow down to those quotes that go beyond offering a temporary burst of inspiration, but rather have led to real changes in my behavior. In no particular order here is my list, which could broadly be categorized by leadership, business, family and faith (and many of the quotes go across multiple categories).

“Something is fundamentally dismantling when you say the right things but have the wrong actions. That is, talk like a leader, but act like an anchor.” Kevin Myers. I find this quote applicable in work, family, friendship and faith.

“When those who are the closest to you and know you the best, love and respect you the most.” John Maxwell on the definition of success. This quote has greatly reshaped how I think about the question “what is success?”

“Quality time comes at the most unusual moments. You never know when it will happen. It usually makes an appearance somewhere in the realm of quantity time.” Steve Farrar. This quote always reminds me to be present with my family.

“Every time you make a choice you are turning the control part of you, the part that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, you are slowly turning this control thing either into a heavenly creature or a hellish creature.” CS Lewis. Lewis was a master of packing deep content into everything he wrote.

“My fully exploited strengths will always offer more to the organization than my marginally enhanced weaknesses.” Andy Stanley. I find I most often apply this quote in a business environment.

“It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge and my job to love.” Billy Graham. This quote all to frequently reminds me that I focus too much on the two former jobs and not enough on the latter one.

“Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem.” John Galsworthy. Anyone who has worked for a large company and takes direction from afar is familiar with this. So is a stay-at-home mom trying to manage a household with a traveling husband’s input.

“Someone living close to us will take no notice of any attempts to tell them about Christ if our lives are not demonstrating the truth of the message we claim to believe.” Unknown. A constant gut check for how I am living.

“Materialism begins where your income ends.” And “Envy begins where your influence ends.” Ed Young (I believe?). Who came into your mind first? How often do we simply need to look in the mirror?

“I doubt when I get all hung up on what is unexplainable and lose sight of what is undeniable.” Andy Stanley. Just a great quote on doubt and faith.

“A good apology has three components. (1) It’s specific. (2) Forgiveness is asked for. (3) There is no whining about the consequences.” Craig Groeschel. My children can quote this one too by now!

“God, let me make a difference for you that is utterly disproportionate to who I am.” David Brainerd. A great quote to help me think bigger about what I might offer.

“Someday is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.” Tim Ferriss. I have many friends who have contemplated leaving corporate America and becoming entrepreneurs. Many suggest the timing isn’t right but it will be someday. When the right timing keeps getting pushed out, this quote often comes to mind.

“The moment you feel the need to tightly manage someone, you probably made a hiring error or a seat error.” Jim Collins. I constantly apply this quote in the work environment.

“The interest rate on culture debt is crushingly high.” Unknown. This thought goes through my head any time I’m hiring someone, especially in a small company environment where one wrong hire can tank the entire culture.

Incidentally, none of the quotes in my list appear in the Top 100 Inspirational Quotes as determined by Forbes and Quoto. Regardless, I hope some of these inspire you and you find a place to apply them in your life.

What are your favorites quotes (i.e., the real difference makers) and why?

Costa Rica, Family, Leadership

“Spending your time isn’t just a metaphor”

July 6, 2013 David McNeill 6 Comments

One of our goals for this year was to reclaim some family time while in Costa Rica. As of today we have been here for one month and almost 10% of our trip is now in the rearview mirror. We have lots left that we’d like to accomplish but without real intentionality, plans and dreams tend to drop by the wayside and are long forgotten. Sometimes a visual reminder can be helpful.

Pictured is a vase with 51 stones that sits on our dining room table – it represents the number of weeks we have left in Costa Rica before we return to Atlanta. Each week as a family we pull out one stone and throw it away. This gives us a chance to discuss the things we still hope to accomplish while we are here and use the stones as a visual reminder of how little time we have left in this place.

This illustration wasn’t my idea (I heard a similar example on a John Maxwell podcast and have seen it elsewhere since). In the same podcast, Dr. Maxwell said a great and thought-provoking expression – “Spending your time isn’t just a metaphor.” This expression can be brought to light in many different ways. E.g.,

Based on actuarial tables and my personal health I have 43 years left to live (www.deathclock.com – a bit morbid I know but perspective setting nonetheless). We have ~12 months left in Costa Rica and therefore almost 2½% of my remaining life will be spent here. At the end of the day, how I spend my time here matters, as it is a meaningful percent of my remaining time on earth.

My wife and I theoretically have 317 Saturdays with our oldest daughter Hailey before she leaves for college (theoretical because I know teenage years will deplete the actual number of Saturdays we get with her). In years past the extra hours I worked at night and on weekends over the course of a year or two probably exceeded the amount of time in my daughter’s remaining Saturdays at home. It’s so easy to convince one’s self the extra hours at work are so critical, but six years from now where will I be happier to have invested my time?

Or to paraphrase the example from Dr. Maxwell’s podcast, if someone my age decides to really kill themselves at work for the next five years in order to afford a second home, that equates to ~12.5% of their remaining life. A true cost indeed.

Steve Farrar wrote a phenomenal book called “Point Man” that has one of my favorite quotes regarding family/relationships/parenting, “Quality time comes at the most unusual moments. You never know when it will happen. It usually makes an appearance someplace in the realm of quantity time.” While we have always tried to be intentional about family time, we now have a unique chance to take advantage of some serious “quantity time” and to fill it with meaningful experiences that we can discuss and laugh about together for many, many years. If we are really successful leveraging our time in Costa Rica, our meaningful experiences will accrue commensurate with the depleting of the stones and we won’t find ourselves one day staring at the empty jar wondering where the time went.

river rock 1

Is the return on how you are currently spending your time worth the investment?
Could added focus/intentionality make a difference in the quality and quantity of stories you’ll be able to tell one day?
Where and how might a visual reminder prove meaningful for you?