Simplicity

We have spent the last six months on a personal experiment in “simplicity.” For us this meant “simplicity” from our accumulated stuff, consumerism (i.e., buying more stuff) and our typically busy schedules. Not trying to suggest we led a monk’s existence while we were here in Costa Rica – we took some awesome beach trips and visited many parts of the country, but below are the intentional things we did as a family in pursuit of “simplicity”.

We moved here with two duffle bags per person, each weighing <40 lbs. Each person’s bags included their clothes, electronics, books, personal items, etc. This was to last each of us six months and needless to say, we left a ton of stuff at home. And each of us has not only realized we don’t miss most of what we left behind, we can’t remember most of it.
We decided to drastically minimize new purchases that were even close to a “want” vs. a “need.” We ended up repairing (e.g., shoes and pants) vs. replacing in many cases. Our daughters were aware of this decision, and amazingly were able to all but eliminate “I want …” from their vocabulary during our time here.
We rented a relatively small furnished home. I’ve spent less than five minutes fixing anything in this house since we arrived six months ago. With relatively limited cabinet/fridge/freezer space, we simply don’t have the room to buy lots of food and therefore have thrown away almost no spoiled food. At home in the US, we have so much more cabinet/fridge/freezer space than we really need and we always seem to fill it up.
Our girls’ sporting activities were limited to those at school, and when the bus dropped them off they were home for the night. In contrast, my wife and I are basically chauffeurs for our girls and their activities every weeknight in the US. Here, we have eaten dinner together as a family almost every night.
My wife and I shared one car. This has been tough, although it is still a pretty blessed position by world standards where the overwhelming majority of people do not have even one car. Regardless, there were things we simply said “no” to as one or the other had the car, we walked to the grocery store if need be, and in general, we just made it work.
Perhaps most important, we’ve had meaningful conversations with our girls throughout the last six months about simplicity and the options it affords you in life.

Without real intentionality, planning and family communication, I don’t think these things would have happened. For us, temporarily moving abroad enhanced our ability to make this experiment a go as we started with a “clean slate.” [For some awesome and inspiring examples of proactively living “simplicity” in everyday life, I highly suggest reading “More or Less” by Jeff Shinabarger.]

There is an inertia effect in our lives that seems to demand more “stuff” and more commitments and it is so hard to overcome. I am hopeful that having “lived” the lessons in this experiment that we will be able to remember them when inertia once again begins to take hold at some point in the future. And it’s my hope there are other aspects of simplicity we can bake into our DNA. As Richard Foster describes so eloquently in his book “Celebration of Discipline” – “If what we have, we (1) view as a gift vs. earned by our own merit, (2) it is to be cared for by God – I.e., we don’t get all hung up or anxious over losing it, and (3) it is available to others – then we will possess freedom from anxiety.” And not be owned by our “stuff.” That would be a pretty great place to be.

I believe our “simplicity” exercise will have a meaningful long-term effect on my family. Not every day necessarily, but hopefully at some point when it really counts.

How are you simplifying your life?

Our point of departure (Atlanta): Spacious home, pool, abundance of clothes and stuff and lots of busyness in our lives. Our point of arrival (Costa Rica for a year): Much smaller home, very few clothes, personal items and personal commitments (at least initially). For a bit more perspective, each member of my family brought two suitcases (< 40 lbs. each) with all their clothes, personal items, books, electronics, etc. – with four daughters in my house this deal wasn’t an easy sell. On top of that we decided not to buy any new or replacement items while we are here.

We are now a few months into our adventure and have inevitably discussed things we don’t really miss, kind of miss or definitely miss.

Don’t really miss

Clothes. I brought enough clothes to fill 17” of hanging closet space and a handful of drawers. While I occasionally think, “I wish I had brought xyz”, there is a peace in the simplicity of not having that many choices in the morning. It was also very therapeutic while packing to give the majority of my stuff away, leave some in Atlanta and take a little bit down here.
Our home. We built our home and we love it, but are doing just fine in a smaller, furnished rental. I haven’t spent a minute fixing anything and due to size I am able to locate any family member within about ten seconds.
All of our stuff. I believe we are pretty good at giving stuff away if we no longer use it frequently, however, like most families we tend to be net accumulators over time.
TV. Aside from some CNN and the occasional cable show, I don’t watch much TV here. I don’t miss the nightly news that is so full of murders, arrests, etc. A caveat – I will likely revisit this particular bullet when football season begins.
The overall busyness of our lives.

Miss, but could get used to doing without

Knowing where things are. Stores, restaurants, doctors, etc. There is a sense of peace from being knowledgeable about your surroundings. Probably not too long before I will be able to say this about my new home.
How I feel every time I drive into my neighborhood. It is beautiful & peaceful.
Brightness after 6:00. The sunset in Costa Rica varies from about 5:15 to 6:00 over the course of the entire year. I find myself exhausted at what I think must be 10:00 only to find it is only 8:00.
Street lights. There are very few here and it is pretty dark at night.
Street names/numbers. There are very few named streets and most directions involve landmark locations. That said, I was introduced to the best GPS tool I’ve used called Waze (http://www.waze.com) that has made things easier.

Truly Miss

Our family. We miss each of them dearly.
12Stone Church (http://www.12stone.com). We are participating in the on-line services and are getting involved in a great local church here, but a live 12Stone campus is still home.
Our dogs, who we were not able to bring with us. We were blessed to have our dog trainers (Dawn & Karisha) graciously offer to take care of them.
Close friends – i.e., those people with whom we regularly do life.
Casual friends – i.e., friends we don’t get together with that often but when we do we always have fun and leave encouraged.
My business partners and old friends at 4^th Strand.

Before leaving Atlanta I had a conversation with some of my best friends about how difficult a permanent move would be at this point in life with everything we have to be thankful for. I hope that upon our return this is all the more evident and we find ourselves bursting with an appreciation that doesn’t fade over time. Not for any of the “things” in our life as it turns out the only real “things” we miss are the important people and communities to which we belong.

Andy Stanley has said, “you will never know your most impactful leadership moments until well after the fact, and maybe not ever.” I am very fortunate to be surrounded by great people who speak into my life continuously, even if they aren’t aware of this fact. These people and the daily lessons I receive from them are the “things” I truly miss.

What are the “things” you could live without in order to reflect on the “things” you value most? Or rather, what are the “things” in your life that might be clouding what you should value more?